so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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