He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
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I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
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I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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