the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
