I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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