ugly people sure do ruin things
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
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You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
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You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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