Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
