then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Holy shit dude........stairs
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