last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
