Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
