I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
