She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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