It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
