Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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