She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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