went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize