he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
