stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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