I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
