You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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