Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
