In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
