I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Acid is not a monday night drug
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You have to summon your inner elephant
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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