You made me cry and you don't even care
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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