Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
