Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
