haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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