return my video game
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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