i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
