you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
