fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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