i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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