I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
