But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
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