I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just google imaged poop.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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