Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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