so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
