Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
