he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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