His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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