ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He did a backflip because drugs
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