First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
accomplished twins. life is a go
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
