Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
