we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
