My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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