That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
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Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
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I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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