Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
