Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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