Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
it's like iHOP with fire
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
