what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
