Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize
