meet me or not, i'm out of control
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
