When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting married
To pizza
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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