did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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