...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
