It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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