idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
