is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
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The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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