you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
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Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
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you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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