at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
