She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
