Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
we're making bets on your personal life
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
