if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
