i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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