I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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