this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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