walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i love accidental penises.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
is it fun? or sober?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
