i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
