so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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