i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
