i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
