9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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