If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
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you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
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What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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