I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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