just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
